Talkshow Number 3!
by Htaed is Death backwards
Summary: Talkshow with Cloud, Sephiroth, Kadaj, Yuffie and Vincent.


Talkshow with Cloud, Sephiroth, Kadaj, Yuffie and Vincent

Htaed: We're back again pplz, and this time, Danja's my-

-Danja walks in-

Htaed: YODAAAAA!!!

Danja: AAANGST!!!

Htaed: YODAAAA!!!

Danja: AAANGST!!!

Htaed: YO-

Grimm: SHUT UP!! God, are you going to call them in, or what?

Danja: -raises hand- Question!

Grimm: …what?

Danja: What happens if we pick 'or what'?

Htaed: -rolls eyes- Obviously, Grimm will eat us. Duh.

Danja: WTF?!

Htaed: -shrugs- Well, he _did_ eat Kisame last time…

Danja: O.o

Htaed: No, seriously. Ask Alii.

Danja: That is…highly…

Grimm: Irrelevant?

Htaed: Interesting?

Danja: We'll go with that. Mental note: call Alii later…

Htaed: 'Kay, well, I think we should call them in now…

Danja: Probably should…

Htaed: Probably…

Danja: Yeah…

Htaed: Yeah…

Grimm: Just _do_ it already.

Htaed & Danja: COME ON IN!!

-Sephiroth and Yuffie walk in-

Htaed: WTF?! Where's everybody else?!

Danja: -sees Sephiroth- CREEEEEEEEEPERRRR!!!

Htaed: -swats Danja- Quiet, you. Now go get all the angsty brooders.

Yuffie: -laughs-

Danja: Do I _have_ to?

Htaed: -shuffles random blank papers like a news host- Yes.

Danja: Make Grimm do it.

Htaed: -doesn't even blink- Grimm, go get the angsty brooders.

Grimm: -sighs- _Fine_.

-Grimm disappears backstage-

Grimm: OMFG!! THEY TURNED THE _ENTIRE BACKSTAGE_ INTO AN EMO CORNER!!! –runs back onstage-

Htaed: -rolls eyes- It's Halloween, moron. We spent all morning decorating.

Cameraman: -muttered- More like _we_ decorated, and you and Danja threw streamers and cobwebs and paper and junk at each other and everybody else.

Htaed: -ignoring Cameraman, addressing Grimm- Now go get them, you wuss.

Grimm: I ain't going back there again!

Htaed: Fine. –picks up mike- ATTENTION! ALL SOLDIERS, VAMPIRES CHYSALISES AND REMNANTS HAD BETTER GET THEIR ASSES UP FRONT _NOW_ OR THERE WILL BE _PAIN_!!

Zack: Heya!

Htaed: WTF?! What are _you_ doing here?! You died!! And you weren't invited! How'd you get in?!

Zack: Back door.

Htaed: Gotta start locking that thing…I'm getting all sorts of unexpected guests…

Danja: ZACK!! –glomps-

Htaed: -pries Danja off Zack w/crowbar- Leave the poor dork alone.

Zack: Dork?

Htaed: -sighs- It's from a picture, man. We still love you. Especially Danja.

Zack: Why especially her?

Htaed: 'Cause she cried when you died.

Danja: So? You did too!

Htaed: So? We all know I cried then. I also cried after Godchild, and after Wolf's Rain, and when Sephiroth died.

Danja: You cried when _creeper_ died?!

Zack: You cried when _Sephiroth_ died?!

Cloud: -has finally walked in, along with Vincent and Kadaj- _Who_ cried when Sephiroth died?!

Yuffie: -points at Htaed- She did.

Vincent: …………phone……………….

Htaed: -jumps about five feet in the air as Vincnet is right behind her- Jeezus, man, you scared the bejeezus outta me! And how come you _still_ don't have a phone? You can buy them at freaking _everywhere_!

Sephiroth: I died?

Cloud: Yes, you evil bastard, I killed you. Twice.

Sephiroth: I got to die twice? Cool. You cried when I died?

Htaed: Yup. –is proud-

All except Htaed & Seph: You're a freak.

Htaed: Why, thank you. –is proud-

Kadaj: How come nobody cried when I died? –sniffle-

Htaed: Awwwwwww…C'mere frightening emo child, I'mma give you a hug. Danja, group hug with the emo child! –hugs-

Danja: Awwww….I cried when you died, Cabbage! –hugs-

Kadaj: Cabbage?

Danja: Oh, yeah, everybody has nicknames. We had fun doing it.

Htaed: 'Kay, so I'mma list them off. Cabbage, Yahoo! Log and Sephy-kins are the SHM. Also known as Kadaj, Yazoo, Loz and Sephiroth. Cloud is also known as Chocobo-head, Angst Queen, Chocobo, Broody, Blondie, Spike, etc, etc…

Cloud: All those are me?

Danja: Yep. And that's not even the half.

Htaed: -continues without pause- Vincent is widely regarded as a vampire, Zack is called a dork and a puppy, Yuffie curiously doesn't have any, and I can't think of any more off the top of my head.

Yuffie: I don't have any? Aww, that sucks.

Danja: Well, _technically_, there's 'Self-Proclaimed-Materia-Hunter', but it's not really a nickname, cause it's way longer than your actual name, and it's more of a description of what you are.

Yuffie: Oh. Okay.

Htaed: First question! Okay, now, men, what is your opinion on the pairings? –is struggling to keep a straight face-

Danja: -also struggling to keep a straight face-

Cloud: Pairings?

Sephiroth: Pairings?

Vincent: Pairings?

Zack: Pairings?

Kadaj: Pairings?

Grimm: Oh, boy.

Yuffie: Oh, this is gonna be good.

Htaed: Yeah, you know, SephirothxCloud, SephirothxVincent, SephirothxKadaj, SephirothxZack, SephirothxGenesis, ZackxCloud…the list goes on and on and on…

All (except Htaed, Danja, Yuffie & Grimm): WTF?!?!

Sephiroth: Why are all of these with two guys?! And why am I in every single one except ZackxCloud?!

Danja: Htaed! You forgot about the threesomes!

Htaed: Oh, yeah. My bad. Forgot to mention SephirothxZackXCloud and-

Sephiroth: -faints-

Zack: -faints-

Cloud –faints-

All: -looks down at fainted men-

Htaed: Well, then.

Grimm: I never took them for the fainting type…

Danja: Ooh! Can we draw on their faces?

Yuffie: Ooh! Can we?

Htaed: I haz Sharpie!

All three: YAY!

Vincent: You three are the _**definition**_ of immature.

Danja: -not listening- OMG put a star there!

Htaed: -not listening- OMG leopard spots!

Yuffie: -not listening- OMG let's do it!

Grimm: -is asleep- Zzz.

Kadaj: ……………………….

Vincent: …I'm leaving.

Htaed: WHAT?! WHYYYYYY?!?!

Vincent: -is gone-

Danja and Htaed: NOOOOOO!!! Teh emo vampire iz GONE!!! –look at each other- AAAAAAAANGST!!!!

Yuffie: Less talk, more doodle.

Kadaj: ………………bye.

Girls: Bye emo child!!

Cameraman: …As our hosts are otherwise occupied, and all guests not participating willingly or not, have gone, we shall terminate this session.

Htaed & Danja: WAI-!

Click.


End file.
